-=DoW=- MauryMac
April 29th, 2003, 11:05
>TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
> 1. Weed.
> 2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
> 3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
> 4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar.
> 5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
> 6. A university with a nude beach.
> 7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
> 8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash.
> 9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
> 10. Cannabis.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
> 1. Big Rock between you and B.C.
> 2. Ottawa who?
> 3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of
>the country.
> 4. The Premier is a fat, alcoholic who is easy to make fun of .
> 5. Flames vs. Oilers.
> 6. Stamps vs. Eskies.
> 7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
> 8. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be it's
>own country.
> 9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
> 10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away
>with it.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
> 1. You never run out of wheat.
> 2. Ten months of winter and 2 months of poor skating.
> 3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
> 4. Your province is really easy to draw.
> 5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard.
> 6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.
> 7. YOUR Roughriders survived.
> 8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
> 9. People will assume you live on a farm.
> 10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
> 1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront
>property.
> 2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg".
> 3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto.
> 4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
>government.
> 5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
> 6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
> 7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
> 8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
> 9. Because of your licence plate, you are still friendly even when you
>cut someone off.
> 10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
> 1. You live in the center of the universe.
> 2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
> 3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
> 4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what?
>You are the centre of the universe.
> 5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition.
> 6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's
>a cool city.
> 7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
> 8. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a
>dollar.
> 9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your
>house.
> 10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
> 1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
> 2. Racism is socially acceptable.
> 3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
> 4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will
>move out next.
> 5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
> 6. The FLQ.
> 7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't
>skate.
> 8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers.
> 9. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
> 10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards".
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
> 1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken Celtic
>fiddlers.
> 2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income.
> 3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
> 4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.
> 5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists
>to Boston.
> 6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
> 7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you.
> 8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
> 9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
> 10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
> 1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron
>who set a munitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion)
> 2.The province is shaped like the male genetalia
> 3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
> 4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their
>ass.
> 5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert h:_censore:o
> 6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land
>mammal.
> 7. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
> 8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk
>and wear a kilt.
> 9. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.
> 10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
>Canada's most beautiful city.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
> 1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the
>big ass bridge
> 2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
> 3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
> 4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
> 5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
> 6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly
>leave.
> 7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
> 8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
> 9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that
>matter.
> 10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at
>night.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
> 1. The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation.
> 2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea.
> 3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them
>kiss a dead cod.
> 4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.
> 5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
> 6. You & only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
> 7. The workday is about two hours long.
> 8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered
>flashlight and the screen door for submarines.
> 9. If someone asks if you're from Cape Breton, you are allowed to kick
>their ass.
> 10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding
>day
> 1. Weed.
> 2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
> 3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
> 4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar.
> 5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
> 6. A university with a nude beach.
> 7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
> 8. If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash.
> 9. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
> 10. Cannabis.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
> 1. Big Rock between you and B.C.
> 2. Ottawa who?
> 3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of
>the country.
> 4. The Premier is a fat, alcoholic who is easy to make fun of .
> 5. Flames vs. Oilers.
> 6. Stamps vs. Eskies.
> 7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
> 8. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be it's
>own country.
> 9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
> 10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away
>with it.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
> 1. You never run out of wheat.
> 2. Ten months of winter and 2 months of poor skating.
> 3. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
> 4. Your province is really easy to draw.
> 5. You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard.
> 6. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.
> 7. YOUR Roughriders survived.
> 8. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
> 9. People will assume you live on a farm.
> 10. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
> 1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront
>property.
> 2. Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg".
> 3. All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto.
> 4. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal
>government.
> 5. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
> 6. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
> 7. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
> 8. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
> 9. Because of your licence plate, you are still friendly even when you
>cut someone off.
> 10. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
> 1. You live in the center of the universe.
> 2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
> 3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
> 4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what?
>You are the centre of the universe.
> 5. Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition.
> 6. Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly believe it's
>a cool city.
> 7. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
> 8. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a
>dollar.
> 9. Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side of your
>house.
> 10. Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
> 1. Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
> 2. Racism is socially acceptable.
> 3. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
> 4. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbor will
>move out next.
> 5. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
> 6. The FLQ.
> 7. Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys who can't
>skate.
> 8. The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers.
> 9. NON-smokers are the outcasts.
> 10. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards".
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
> 1. You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken Celtic
>fiddlers.
> 2. One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of your income.
> 3. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
> 4. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.
> 5. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists
>to Boston.
> 6. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
> 7. You have French people, but they don't want to kill you.
> 8. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
> 9. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
> 10. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
> 1. The only place in North America to get bombed in the war by a moron
>who set a munitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion)
> 2.The province is shaped like the male genetalia
> 3. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
> 4. If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to kick their
>ass.
> 5. The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual pervert h:_censore:o
> 6. The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's largest land
>mammal.
> 7. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
> 8. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk
>and wear a kilt.
> 9. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.
> 10. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
>Canada's most beautiful city.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
> 1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the
>big ass bridge
> 2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
> 3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
> 4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
> 5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
> 6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly
>leave.
> 7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
> 8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
> 9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that
>matter.
> 10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at
>night.
> TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
> 1. The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation.
> 2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea.
> 3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them
>kiss a dead cod.
> 4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.
> 5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
> 6. You & only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
> 7. The workday is about two hours long.
> 8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered
>flashlight and the screen door for submarines.
> 9. If someone asks if you're from Cape Breton, you are allowed to kick
>their ass.
> 10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding
>day