-=DoW=- JBDiamonds
May 30th, 2003, 12:50
THIS IS FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES...
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the
required pressure.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me " What's on the TV?
"
I said, "Dust!"
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the
required pressure.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me " What's on the TV?
"
I said, "Dust!"
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.