Vicky23
November 19th, 2002, 22:52
How I found America's Army, Destroyed a Mac, and Bought a PC all in one day.
This is a true account on how I did the 'rooftop reboot' on one of the original strawberry coloured IMAC's I owned a few months ago(the all in one unit type), bought a PC and found out about America's Army.
BTW, this is how you do a Rooftop Reboot.
After the program crashes that you were using to write your term paper....
1)Swear a little under your breath, and reasonably try to click your way back to where you were to no advail.
2)Scold the little POS by questioning it's heritige and it's purity. You also make referance to hammers and reformats if it continues misbehaving.
3)Induce corporal punishment on the misbehaving machine. A couple quick smacks on it's side is what you do to knock some sense into it. This does make the moniter lose sync for a little bit and you are happy with the results thinking maybe you fazed it.
4)As to annoy you The Machine decides to give you the 'digital finger' and locks up. In a frenzy you grab the moniter and scream at the top of your lungs "YOU BLOODY BETTER GIVE ME BACK MY DATA YOU HARDWIRED DEAMON FROM HELL!"
5)Listen carefully. You can swear you hear the machine giggle at you (that may just be the soundcard skipping on that last mp3 you were listing to, but you swear it's the machine's idea of a sick joke.)
6)In a rage, rip the power cord from the wall, grab the mac, hoist it under your arm, and proceed to the top of your 12 story dorm. Namely, onto the roof. At this time you will have the inclination and extreme urge to pronounce "Dead Mac Walking" over and over. (I let it slip once or twenty times) To keep from being looked on as a crazy person, please decide against it, although later explination will expunge you from any guilt and misguided ideas about your sanity.
7)On the roof, set the Mac down on the raised edgeing. Walking back a few paces and light a smoke. Puff the first few drags. (You will suddenly wish you had a white towel or cloth to drap over the moniter like a blindfold). Pop the cd rom tray just a hair and then secure the smoke in the tray letting the Mac have it's first and last smoke.
8)You may want to take a running kick at the Mac to send it on it's way. Decide against that course of action as you want the machine on the ground...not you. A quick check below as not to incure friendly fire is required before launch. Ask your former slave (the mac) if it has any last request or words. The little sucker will act tough and not saying a word.
9)Calmly place on foot on the top of the moniter, do another friendly fire check below on the LZ and proceed to push the ex-prisoner off the side of the 12 story building. It falls gracefully, and you may have a fletting idea that it B.A.S.E jumped without a parachute (like opfors on Bridge!). You will find this extremely funny.
10)The Mac hits the ground in an explosion of parts and coloured plastic. The moniter makes a healthy 'WHOOMPH' as it implodes. You watch for a little bit and decide to see the destruction upclose.
11)When you finally make it to ground level you will notice a small group of people gathering around the downed Mac either in tears (mac owners) or in cheers (PC owners) or in awe (PS2 owners). You notice the mac will leave a pretty goodsized crater (Ok...maybe it wasnt a crater...more like a small hole) in the ground where it landed due in part to the long distance it fell and the wet ground that it impacted with.
11)Go back upstairs to your dorm room, grab a credit card and head to the nearest PC reseller to pick up a PC. The salesman points out a PC to you and you will buy it. On the way to the check out the salesman tells you about this great game called America's Army. You decide to give it a try when you get home......
This is a true account on how I did the 'rooftop reboot' on one of the original strawberry coloured IMAC's I owned a few months ago(the all in one unit type), bought a PC and found out about America's Army.
BTW, this is how you do a Rooftop Reboot.
After the program crashes that you were using to write your term paper....
1)Swear a little under your breath, and reasonably try to click your way back to where you were to no advail.
2)Scold the little POS by questioning it's heritige and it's purity. You also make referance to hammers and reformats if it continues misbehaving.
3)Induce corporal punishment on the misbehaving machine. A couple quick smacks on it's side is what you do to knock some sense into it. This does make the moniter lose sync for a little bit and you are happy with the results thinking maybe you fazed it.
4)As to annoy you The Machine decides to give you the 'digital finger' and locks up. In a frenzy you grab the moniter and scream at the top of your lungs "YOU BLOODY BETTER GIVE ME BACK MY DATA YOU HARDWIRED DEAMON FROM HELL!"
5)Listen carefully. You can swear you hear the machine giggle at you (that may just be the soundcard skipping on that last mp3 you were listing to, but you swear it's the machine's idea of a sick joke.)
6)In a rage, rip the power cord from the wall, grab the mac, hoist it under your arm, and proceed to the top of your 12 story dorm. Namely, onto the roof. At this time you will have the inclination and extreme urge to pronounce "Dead Mac Walking" over and over. (I let it slip once or twenty times) To keep from being looked on as a crazy person, please decide against it, although later explination will expunge you from any guilt and misguided ideas about your sanity.
7)On the roof, set the Mac down on the raised edgeing. Walking back a few paces and light a smoke. Puff the first few drags. (You will suddenly wish you had a white towel or cloth to drap over the moniter like a blindfold). Pop the cd rom tray just a hair and then secure the smoke in the tray letting the Mac have it's first and last smoke.
8)You may want to take a running kick at the Mac to send it on it's way. Decide against that course of action as you want the machine on the ground...not you. A quick check below as not to incure friendly fire is required before launch. Ask your former slave (the mac) if it has any last request or words. The little sucker will act tough and not saying a word.
9)Calmly place on foot on the top of the moniter, do another friendly fire check below on the LZ and proceed to push the ex-prisoner off the side of the 12 story building. It falls gracefully, and you may have a fletting idea that it B.A.S.E jumped without a parachute (like opfors on Bridge!). You will find this extremely funny.
10)The Mac hits the ground in an explosion of parts and coloured plastic. The moniter makes a healthy 'WHOOMPH' as it implodes. You watch for a little bit and decide to see the destruction upclose.
11)When you finally make it to ground level you will notice a small group of people gathering around the downed Mac either in tears (mac owners) or in cheers (PC owners) or in awe (PS2 owners). You notice the mac will leave a pretty goodsized crater (Ok...maybe it wasnt a crater...more like a small hole) in the ground where it landed due in part to the long distance it fell and the wet ground that it impacted with.
11)Go back upstairs to your dorm room, grab a credit card and head to the nearest PC reseller to pick up a PC. The salesman points out a PC to you and you will buy it. On the way to the check out the salesman tells you about this great game called America's Army. You decide to give it a try when you get home......